Janus IDC Gemini Critique

• [ ] "iPad" was used a few times - with the whole world as it is, a direct call to an Apple product was jarring.
• [ ] At first I thought there were too many chapters when looking at the table of contents at the beginning, but it totally worked how you used them.
• [x] I felt like it took a really long time to grasp that Atlas was a city, and not like a school or just a company or something like that. Just a line or something to describe it at a really high level in one of the early chapters would have been helpful.
• [ ] Not all characters need names - for example, the scene with the addicts, store owner, and the young family, every character had a name and a detailed description which is a lot of information that wasn't used again.
• [ ] This book engaged me from the beginning but I wasn't really drawn in until after Ch. 8 The Invitation - I think because from that point on, the flashbacks and other things about Atlas started to connect. It's also when the plot and conflict started to really take off, so it's possible that it was just me.
• [ ] There's 5 year time jump in Chapter 3, which is clearly stated, but I would have appreciated Janus' age reiterated after this point. In Ch 12 once Janus started meeting kids his own age on the train, I had to flip back to CH 3 to find how long the time jump was and then back to the very beginning to remember how old he was at the beginning. I read that stretch in one go so I think it'd be even more useful for someone that took a break between chapters.
• [ ] I don't think all abbreviations/initials/acronyms need to be explained - especially ones like AR. There's also a line where you don't explain FORTRAN but you do explain RTCC. The vast majority of the time, these abbreviates are explained in context anyway.
• [ ] Footnotes - there are three in the book and I don't think any of them are needed to be honest. If you want to make sure readers understand what a CNC is, explain in in the passage instead (or just assume they'll google it)
• [x] at 34%, I still don't understand what Omni is?
• [x] You spelled out all the other presidents, spell out FDR
• [x] Related to above, can you introduce the current president before describing a statue of her?
• [x] What's a Stressless couch? First time it's capitalized, second time it's not
  1. Update: I googled it and realize it's a brand, but I thought it was something specific to this world lol
• [ ] If my math was right, they're all 10 right? The motorcycles are obviously pretty integral to the plot development, but it's a little hard to accept a bunch of 10 year olds racing motorcycles at breakneck speeds
• [ ] There are random lines and words that are bold/underlined, mostly towards the end of the book. There doesn't seem to be a reason that I could tell, so probably just a formatting thing
  1. Ex: In Episode 3, Ch 10 Computer Vision: "They bump by Raz who sneers at them before turning away and avoiding eye contact" is bold and underlined in the middle of a paragraph. Also second line of Chapter 19 Aether
  2. I didn't note all of the instances, but I know you can search for formatting in a pdf or word doc to find other locations
• [ ] There are a couple passages where the number of exclamation points felt excessive and as such, made them less impactful. The passaged I noted was at the end of the book, very beginning of Chapter 38 The Beginning
• [ ] Ch 14 Infiltration - also some weird formatting with dialogue at the very beginning
• [ ] At the end of the book, is Aether still alive? like for real?
• [ ] How is Janus' brain different? Is that something that will be covered in the next book? at the end we understand the interest in him because of his parents and grandfather, and can assume that whatever makes him different is at least semi-genetic.